Gaelic & Garlic Get-Together

Shaymus McNamelli & Giuseppe O'Diug co-host. (Thanks to Br. Kevin Dargan for the use of his costumes!)

We folks living here at the center have long pondered how to celebrate St. Patrick's Day (a quaint, tribal festival of limited importance) on March 17 with the far greater and vastly more popular Solemnity of St. Joseph (March 19), patron of Italy and, in his spare time, also patron of the Universal Church.

Well, the good people heading our Wellness Initiative: Fr. John Moran,
Br. Wayne Fitzpatrick and Dr. Claudia Kobkenz-Sulcov in hierarchical order, (but inverted order of importance) hit upon a creative, albeit grotesque solution: combine the two and celebrate both on March 15 (only detrimental if your name is Julius Caesar.)

Thus it was last Thursday at noon we celebrated the combined holidays of SS Patrick and Joseph: Gaelic and Garlic!

Yours truly co-hosted as an Italian Leprechaun (I TOLD you it was grotesque!) Giuseppe O'Diug. (That's Guido backwards). My partner in parody was none other than Shaymus McNamelli (a.k.a. Fr. Don Doherty) as a member of the Irish Mafia, don't ya know. "Never heard of the Irish Mafia??? And just how long have you been in Maryknoll?"

As the members filed in for lunch, they were greeted at the doors by above-mentioned Wellness Initiative folks who gave them party favors and raffle tickets.

As they enjoyed a delightful fusion meal of fine Italian cuisine and Irish "food" (pasta pesto, escarole and white bean soup, lamb, Irish trifle and coffee for dessert and mercifully no hint of corned beef and cabbage) prepared by the talented Sodexo staff, the men were serenaded (another fine Gaelic word) by the Maryknoll band consisting of Frs. Paul Masson, Fern Gosslin and Joe Arsenault and laymen Mssrs. John Gallagher, Larry and Dominic (whose last names I shall supply anon.)

Then Shaymus and Giuseppe took the stage and regaled the troops with such lines as: "How exactly do you make Kelly Green? (Take away his Guinness.)

"Garlic lowers blood pressure; Gaelic not so much."

"For a leprechaun, you don't have much of a brogue." (You know what they say, 'If it's not brogue, don't fix it.')

We had our share of would-be hecklers. One old man (thus protecting anonymity) asked why Italians celebrate St. Joseph since he wasn't Italian. The shorter yet better-looking and wittier of the two MCs retorted: "Yeah? Well, St. Patrick wasn't Irish, so what's your point?"

This banter was mercifully broken up with raffling off gift cards at Starbucks or Barnes & Noble etc.

Then came the sing-a-long section with the band and MCs leading the amazingly still present assembly in: When Irish Eyes Are Smiling, Santa Lucia, Wearing of the Green, O Sole Mio, Danny Boy and That's Amore.

Lastly, with each of the 13 tables forming a team, a 10 Question Trivia Quiz posed such head-scratchers as "Where was St. Patrick born?" "Who was the last king of Italy" and "Who is Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotte popularly known as?" (Britain, Umberto II and Lady Gaga).

Prizes were awarded to the two teams who tied for first place with eight correct answers and two teams who tied with seven correct answers each.

It must be noted that the answer to one question (How many counties are in the Republic of Ireland?) led to an animated exchange when the much older and less popular of the two MCs  supplied the wrong answer as 32. Other Sons or Eire quickly pointed out there are 26 in the Republic but 6 in the North. Or as one man put it "What the hell do you think the war was all about?"

All I have to say is thank goodness the Italians never fight or disagree about anything.

The gala ended at 1:10 p.m. One measure of success was that several men lingered over coffee to chat well past 1:30.

Maryknoll's secret: from diversity, amusement!

Sent from my most excellent, albeit antiquated, iPhone 4

All-important House Meeting

LAST WEDNESDAY the monthly house meeting took up, among other things, a suggestion from the all-important Safety Committee that hand railings be added in the main chapel to assist those who need assisting to mount the one step to the main altar and, if also necessary, the three steps to the tabernacle.

The all-important Liturgy Committee had already considered this recommendation by the all-important Safety Committee and, like Solomon of old, decided it best to split the thing in half. Walking through the chapel with Mr. Al Vitiello (Physical Plant) and Ms. Nancy Kleppel, Fr. John Kaserow suggested a single rail on both sides of the altar, one near the credence table, the other near the presider's chair. This will help those who need help and maintain the aesthetic symmetry of the chapel.

Railings up the three steps to the tabernacle seemed like P.C. attentiveness run amok. Upon reflection, no one who needs a cane or walker to get around would be approaching the tabernacle to get or replace the ciborium. That's why God created M.C.s and acolytes. Besides, if a man required TWO railings to go up, then how would he negotiate coming down the steps with the ciborium? Thus that recommendation was wisely scrapped.

In other news, the all-important Food Committee announced that that evening's traditional and de rigeur St. Patrick's Day offering of boiled corned beef and boiled cabbage and boiled potatoes and boiled carrots, would be offset and, one hopes, ameliorated by a savory lamb curry stew. Irish Coffee and "spontaneous" singing of Irish ditties, thanks to the labors of Br. Kevin Dargan who passed out song sheets, took people's minds off the corned beef.

Two says later, St. Joseph's Day (just like St. Patrick's Day, minus a parade but with better food) would further shatter our Lenten promises with seafood ravioli and sundry cannoli and sfogliatelli.

Looking ahead, a prime rib dinner would celebrate Holy Thursday's celebration of the Lord's Supper and the institutions of the Eucharist and the priesthood. A collation would follow the Mass on Holy Saturday. And on Easter Sunday, something new: a special brunch would follow the morning 9:00 Mass.

Fr. Ernie Lukaschek introduced Fr. Ed Szendrey as one of the two (along with Fr. Bob Jalbert, who wasn't present that day) newly elected members of the U.S. regional council. For his part, Ed, representing the all-important Crisis Committee, reminded the men that, except for those who live in the Assisted Living area (Second Floor M & C wings) all are expected to vacate the building when they hear the fire alarm no matter the hour. Men who remain in their rooms in the Assisted Living wings must notify the main reception desk of their whereabouts so EMS can, if necessary, evacuate them.

The question of some guys being unable to hear the loud, shrill and ear-splitting alarm will be addressed by the Crisis Committee.

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UPDATE: Fr. Romane St. Vil has returned to Haiti for another relief mission.