Maryknoll's Wellness Initiative welcomed Fr. Gerald McGlone, S.J., executive director of the St. John Vianney Treatment Center in Pennsylvania, who spoke to about 37 members in the Asia Room on
"Models of Affective and Celibate Development"
In order to break the Great Silence about the whole area of sexuality, we sometimes need an outsider to come in and give us permission to talk with one another about these very important areas of love, intimacy, friendship, boundaries. (Unlike the usual conversations around here: my latest colonoscopy and the Yankees. Same-same IMHO.)
Most of us were "trained" not to even address these most important topics, so as a result we were our own frame of reference, without contact with an outside reality. The heart never found its way to the head. Thus we stay in our heads we feel safe...or so we think.
One guy said they were trained in formation by Bishop Comber to confine "morality" to abstract issues like "robbing the bank in Tarrytown." (I wonder if, looking back, that wasn't a euphemism, like "Hiking the Old Appalachia Trail" is today?) back in the day, formation never addressed sexual issues besides "don't be alone with a woman."
There was an Anglo-Saxon interpretation of the law: See a red light and stop; and the Roman interpretation: do what is convenient and safe. The so-called "Third Way", popularized in the 1970s, said one could have a special relationship involving sexual intimacy but was still considered celibate if orgasm was not involved. A "Spiritual Relationship" with another person was expressed as asexual intimacy.
In today's secular culture, "Bromances" and "Mandating" are common same-gender relationships without genital expressions. In days of old, there was a clear line between First Base, Second Base etc. Nowadays there are no clear expectations so many misunderstandings and cases of unintended date rape. Bill Clinton gave a Baptist spin on sex which said only intercourse constituted sexual relations.
"Rainbow Parties" are where women wear different colored lipsticks to paint rainbows on guys during oral sex.
Silence on one side and Anything Goes on the other are two dangerous extremes.
What and where is the in-between state where healthy sexuality and celibacy abide? (More will be posted of subsequent talks in the coming days.)
Showing posts with label formation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label formation. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
ELB 2.0
Insofar as many have inquired as to the happenings here among us last week concerning all that has occurred at the extraordinary session of the Extended Leadership Board, it seemed fitting for me as well to blog it for you, most excellent Theophagus.
Well, OK, Father Mike Duggan, regional in the U.S., was gracious enough to fill me in over lunch yesterday so that I may masticate and regurgitate it to you in bite-size, easily digestible, if not easy-to-swallow morsels.
So here is it. ELB dealt with four topics: Communication, Mission, Retirement, the relationship between ELB and the General Council, and morale of members. (OK, that’s actually five, but the first four directly impact the last, n’est pas?)
MISSION It was heartening to hear that, for all the problems facing our leaders, the future of Maryknoll mission work is still a priority. Clearly we can’t be in as many countries as we are now, but do we concentrate on putting all our mission eggs in just one overseas basket? Or do we maintain our multicultural interests by having at least two Regions?
Someone opined that the best gift we “old timers” can give the 12 men currently in formation and, God willing, to more men who will enter formation in the coming years, is to “get out of their way.” New wine! New skins!
COMMUNICATION It comes as no surprise that this was identified as THE most serious challenge facing our members as we try to discern what leadership is thinking, what they did, and why they did it. Indeed, the reason for ELB 2.0 was to give the Regionals another chance to come together and talk with one another and the Council and brainstorm, as well as express their opinions on the state of the Society and define just what the nature and purpose of ELB is.
RETIREMENT Let’s face it, the big wave is already crashing over our heads. But what is the right time to retire? And who decides? And how do you convince a man to give up the only life he’s known? What does “retirement” even mean? Some men think it means that, absent a formal Maryknoll assignment, they are free to do whatever they want. (So then, what’s the difference between that and what Maryknollers usually do?) The retirement age may be raised to 70 sometime in the future, but this is way too complex an issue to decide right now. More discussion in needed. [In journalistic parlance, this is what is known as “burying the lead”, but I like to reward those of you who plod through my other paragraphs with a solid nugget of news.]
Mike Duggan says there was ample time for him and each of the other Regionals (Fr. Alfonso Kim-Asia; Fr. Jim Lynch-Latin America, Fr. Dave Smith/Fr. Lance Nadeau-Africa and Fr. Tom McDonnell-Retirement) to speak what was on their minds.
But were they heard? And what positive changes will be made? Log in for future developments!
ELB 2.1 is scheduled for a week before and after June 4, 2011, when N’ShaAllah, we will celebrate the ordination of the Rev. Mr. Rodrigo Ulloa-Chavarry to the Maryknoll mission priesthood!
Well, OK, Father Mike Duggan, regional in the U.S., was gracious enough to fill me in over lunch yesterday so that I may masticate and regurgitate it to you in bite-size, easily digestible, if not easy-to-swallow morsels.
So here is it. ELB dealt with four topics: Communication, Mission, Retirement, the relationship between ELB and the General Council, and morale of members. (OK, that’s actually five, but the first four directly impact the last, n’est pas?)
MISSION It was heartening to hear that, for all the problems facing our leaders, the future of Maryknoll mission work is still a priority. Clearly we can’t be in as many countries as we are now, but do we concentrate on putting all our mission eggs in just one overseas basket? Or do we maintain our multicultural interests by having at least two Regions?
Someone opined that the best gift we “old timers” can give the 12 men currently in formation and, God willing, to more men who will enter formation in the coming years, is to “get out of their way.” New wine! New skins!
COMMUNICATION It comes as no surprise that this was identified as THE most serious challenge facing our members as we try to discern what leadership is thinking, what they did, and why they did it. Indeed, the reason for ELB 2.0 was to give the Regionals another chance to come together and talk with one another and the Council and brainstorm, as well as express their opinions on the state of the Society and define just what the nature and purpose of ELB is.
RETIREMENT Let’s face it, the big wave is already crashing over our heads. But what is the right time to retire? And who decides? And how do you convince a man to give up the only life he’s known? What does “retirement” even mean? Some men think it means that, absent a formal Maryknoll assignment, they are free to do whatever they want. (So then, what’s the difference between that and what Maryknollers usually do?) The retirement age may be raised to 70 sometime in the future, but this is way too complex an issue to decide right now. More discussion in needed. [In journalistic parlance, this is what is known as “burying the lead”, but I like to reward those of you who plod through my other paragraphs with a solid nugget of news.]
Mike Duggan says there was ample time for him and each of the other Regionals (Fr. Alfonso Kim-Asia; Fr. Jim Lynch-Latin America, Fr. Dave Smith/Fr. Lance Nadeau-Africa and Fr. Tom McDonnell-Retirement) to speak what was on their minds.
But were they heard? And what positive changes will be made? Log in for future developments!
ELB 2.1 is scheduled for a week before and after June 4, 2011, when N’ShaAllah, we will celebrate the ordination of the Rev. Mr. Rodrigo Ulloa-Chavarry to the Maryknoll mission priesthood!
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Humor us
St. Joseph Sister Anne Bryan Smollin will speak to our community today at 3 p.m. in the Spellman Room on Humor, the Joy of Healthy Aging, Wellness, Spirituality and Stress. No joke.
Alas, I will only be able to chuckle for the first half hour because the All-Important Centenary Liturgy Committee for the Opening, June 29th and Closing Massses will meet at 3:30, and no doubt will be producing comic relief for months to come.
The 10 seminarians return from Enders Island Retreat Center today and the five new guys will be officially welcomed at a special Hour of Happiness at 5 in the Third Floor Rec Room.
I still feel we need an Office of Maryknoll Traditions and Customs, for which I would willingly volunteer. In years past, a cassock, cincture and Chi Rho marked one's progress through the Formation process; Now we got nothing. I suggest guys in the first year should get a rosary; and when they take first oath they should receive the official Maryknoll lapel pin with the coat of arms of the Society; after that maybe one of several articles of clothing (Tee shirt, cap, polo shirt etc. with the Maryknoll logo on it, perhaps with different colors designating different years).
Too bad the sems won't be back in time today to attend the Humor seminar. because from what I hear, Formation is no laughing matter. Around the salad bar I do hear from multiple sources that two mistakes Formators make (and this has been true since I was in the seminary back in the 19070s) was acting in what appears to be an arbitrary manner and not treating their charges as adults.
Might I be so bold as to suggest that this tendency also plagues men in leadership? (Hey, if I get called in because of this, I'll claim I was just kidding. Get it?)
Providentially today marks the 150th anniversary of the birth of our co-founder, Father Thomas F. Price, and we all know what a jokester he was. He also entered the seminary on his birthday when he turned 16. Another piece of the puzzle.
Alas, I will only be able to chuckle for the first half hour because the All-Important Centenary Liturgy Committee for the Opening, June 29th and Closing Massses will meet at 3:30, and no doubt will be producing comic relief for months to come.
The 10 seminarians return from Enders Island Retreat Center today and the five new guys will be officially welcomed at a special Hour of Happiness at 5 in the Third Floor Rec Room.
I still feel we need an Office of Maryknoll Traditions and Customs, for which I would willingly volunteer. In years past, a cassock, cincture and Chi Rho marked one's progress through the Formation process; Now we got nothing. I suggest guys in the first year should get a rosary; and when they take first oath they should receive the official Maryknoll lapel pin with the coat of arms of the Society; after that maybe one of several articles of clothing (Tee shirt, cap, polo shirt etc. with the Maryknoll logo on it, perhaps with different colors designating different years).
Too bad the sems won't be back in time today to attend the Humor seminar. because from what I hear, Formation is no laughing matter. Around the salad bar I do hear from multiple sources that two mistakes Formators make (and this has been true since I was in the seminary back in the 19070s) was acting in what appears to be an arbitrary manner and not treating their charges as adults.
Might I be so bold as to suggest that this tendency also plagues men in leadership? (Hey, if I get called in because of this, I'll claim I was just kidding. Get it?)
Providentially today marks the 150th anniversary of the birth of our co-founder, Father Thomas F. Price, and we all know what a jokester he was. He also entered the seminary on his birthday when he turned 16. Another piece of the puzzle.
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