Maryknoll's Wellness Initiative welcomed Fr. Gerald McGlone, S.J., executive director of the St. John Vianney Treatment Center in Pennsylvania, who spoke to about 37 members in the Asia Room on
"Models of Affective and Celibate Development"
In order to break the Great Silence about the whole area of sexuality, we sometimes need an outsider to come in and give us permission to talk with one another about these very important areas of love, intimacy, friendship, boundaries. (Unlike the usual conversations around here: my latest colonoscopy and the Yankees. Same-same IMHO.)
Most of us were "trained" not to even address these most important topics, so as a result we were our own frame of reference, without contact with an outside reality. The heart never found its way to the head. Thus we stay in our heads we feel safe...or so we think.
One guy said they were trained in formation by Bishop Comber to confine "morality" to abstract issues like "robbing the bank in Tarrytown." (I wonder if, looking back, that wasn't a euphemism, like "Hiking the Old Appalachia Trail" is today?) back in the day, formation never addressed sexual issues besides "don't be alone with a woman."
There was an Anglo-Saxon interpretation of the law: See a red light and stop; and the Roman interpretation: do what is convenient and safe. The so-called "Third Way", popularized in the 1970s, said one could have a special relationship involving sexual intimacy but was still considered celibate if orgasm was not involved. A "Spiritual Relationship" with another person was expressed as asexual intimacy.
In today's secular culture, "Bromances" and "Mandating" are common same-gender relationships without genital expressions. In days of old, there was a clear line between First Base, Second Base etc. Nowadays there are no clear expectations so many misunderstandings and cases of unintended date rape. Bill Clinton gave a Baptist spin on sex which said only intercourse constituted sexual relations.
"Rainbow Parties" are where women wear different colored lipsticks to paint rainbows on guys during oral sex.
Silence on one side and Anything Goes on the other are two dangerous extremes.
What and where is the in-between state where healthy sexuality and celibacy abide? (More will be posted of subsequent talks in the coming days.)
Showing posts with label clergy sex abuse scandal. Show all posts
Showing posts with label clergy sex abuse scandal. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Renewal and reform
On this great and glorious feast of St. Bonaventure, Seraphic Doctor of the Church, several things converge. Bonaventure is one of 33 Doctors of the Church. You'd think by now it would be cured.
Alas today we have yet another self-inflicted wound as the Vatican issued a "clarification" that only confused people more. In it they stream-lined the procedure for defrocking pedophile priests, bishops and even Cardinals, put lay people on the judicial panel reviewing these cases and added child pornography to the list of things that could get a cleric booted. Still strangely silent is any mention of disciplinary action against bishops whose duplicity and/or incompetence perpetrated the scandal for decades (unless you consider being appointed to a plum position as pastor of one of Rome's major basilicas a punishment.)
Worse, that same document elevated the "attempted ordination of women" to the category of "grievous sin" on par with sexually abusing a child. Hello? A Vatican spokesman hastened to clarify the clarification that one was a moral sin while the other a sacramental sin. Huh? Advocates for Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests (S.N.A.P.) were outraged as were women's groups and ordinary people with consciences. But of course these are a small minority of those real Catholics who come to church and pay their offering and shut their eyes, ears and mouth, so who cares what they think, right?
Enter St. Bonaventure. He was the eighth Minister General of the then still young Franciscan movement. He strove to link the heart of Francis of Assisi with the intellect of his contemporary, Thomas Aquinas. He opined the more one loves God, the more one would want to study about God; and the more one studies about God, the more one would love God.
It was both a logical and emotional wedding of two trends in Catholicism, so naturally he was vehemently opposed by those in his Order as well as those in the Church.
We here at the Center mourn the passing of the spirit of Vatican II. We give lip service to the reformation of the Church and the renewal of Maryknoll, both of which must take place if either is to survive.
But we are the Church. And even more so, we are Maryknoll. Want to renew the Society? Then do it. Be the Maryknoller you think the Society needs you to be. Want to reform the Church? Good luck with that. But renewing Maryknoll would reform the Church!
Today's gospel gives the solution: "Come to me all who labor and are heavy burdened, and I will give you rest. Take up my yoke and learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart."
Ultimately, the renewal of Maryknoll and reformation of the Church are God's work. If we do our part and it is God's will, it will succeed. If we don't and it isn't, it won't matter.
Alas today we have yet another self-inflicted wound as the Vatican issued a "clarification" that only confused people more. In it they stream-lined the procedure for defrocking pedophile priests, bishops and even Cardinals, put lay people on the judicial panel reviewing these cases and added child pornography to the list of things that could get a cleric booted. Still strangely silent is any mention of disciplinary action against bishops whose duplicity and/or incompetence perpetrated the scandal for decades (unless you consider being appointed to a plum position as pastor of one of Rome's major basilicas a punishment.)
Worse, that same document elevated the "attempted ordination of women" to the category of "grievous sin" on par with sexually abusing a child. Hello? A Vatican spokesman hastened to clarify the clarification that one was a moral sin while the other a sacramental sin. Huh? Advocates for Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests (S.N.A.P.) were outraged as were women's groups and ordinary people with consciences. But of course these are a small minority of those real Catholics who come to church and pay their offering and shut their eyes, ears and mouth, so who cares what they think, right?
Enter St. Bonaventure. He was the eighth Minister General of the then still young Franciscan movement. He strove to link the heart of Francis of Assisi with the intellect of his contemporary, Thomas Aquinas. He opined the more one loves God, the more one would want to study about God; and the more one studies about God, the more one would love God.
It was both a logical and emotional wedding of two trends in Catholicism, so naturally he was vehemently opposed by those in his Order as well as those in the Church.
We here at the Center mourn the passing of the spirit of Vatican II. We give lip service to the reformation of the Church and the renewal of Maryknoll, both of which must take place if either is to survive.
But we are the Church. And even more so, we are Maryknoll. Want to renew the Society? Then do it. Be the Maryknoller you think the Society needs you to be. Want to reform the Church? Good luck with that. But renewing Maryknoll would reform the Church!
Today's gospel gives the solution: "Come to me all who labor and are heavy burdened, and I will give you rest. Take up my yoke and learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart."
Ultimately, the renewal of Maryknoll and reformation of the Church are God's work. If we do our part and it is God's will, it will succeed. If we don't and it isn't, it won't matter.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
A New Commandment (Holy Thursday, Year C)
FAR AND AWAY the best homily I ever heard on Holy Thursday was given by my good friend, Maryknoll Father John McAuley, currently serving in China. With unabashed pride (and very rare humility), I will attempt to recapture the essence of his talk for us to reflect upon this Holy Thursday.
It was during Holy Week in 2002 in the midst of the clergy abuse scandal that John delivered this homily at our retirement home in Los Atos, California, where we were holding a Vocations Retreat. (This in itself was no easy task, with the scandals coming out almost on a daily basis. I mean, really, how do you diplomatically say, "Welcome aboard the Titanic!"?)
As we gathered for this most ancient of Catholic rituals, John pointed out that Holy Thursday was more than a solemn celebration of the institution of the Eucharist and the priesthood, which it is. On the night before he died, Jesus and the apostles celebrated the Last Supper at a time of gut-wrenching disintegration. Everything they held dear was falling apart around them. Their future looked bleak. And their situation was about to get nightmarishly worse.
Yet in the midst of this time of uncertainty, fear and confusion, Jesus took bread and gave God thanks and praise. He blessed and broke the bread and asked us to share it in his name. And whenever we did this, he would be present to us: especially in the midst of our darkest moments of doubt, disillusionment and danger.
Eight years have passed since John gave this homily. Alas, the clouds of scandal have not dispersed nor the anger and confusion dissipated. Oh, the Vatican can react with righteous indignation at the secular press and media, no doubt stoked by enemies of the Church, intentionally dragging up and distorting old cases which may or may not have had the complicity of then Cardinal Ratzinger. IMHO this misses the point entirely.
In the public mind (both of Catholics and the wider society), the Church has not done adequate penance for its sins. Penance is more than just public apologies; penance is a good faith effort to make amends for the harm that our sins have caused, and this cannot be satisfied with mere dollar signs.
At a retreat later that same year, 2002, Father Richard Rohr said, "A problem cannot be solved by the same mentality that caused it." There it is in a nutshell.
Unless we (and I'm including all the clergy and hierarchy in this) rend our hearts and not just our garments, unless we convert our way of thinking, unless we put on the very mind of Christ, this situation may never go away, much less be resolved.
How do we celebrate Maundy Thursday? By the Washing of Feet. Jesus takes the position of a servant and commands us to do the same. This is not fulfilled by ceremoniously re-enacting some ritual once a year, and especially not by the pope washing the feet of priests and seminarians (certainly not of women, God forbid!) This makes the exact opposite point Jesus was trying to make, and serves only to re-enforce the public perception of the Church as an "old boys club."
Jesus gives us a new commandment ("Mandatum" in Latin, hence "Maundy" Thursday via Old English). "Love one another, as I have loved you." But if we clerical types limit this just to taking care of fellow priests in the ordained priesthood, our Church is doomed.
Oh would that the Holy Father felt for the victims as deeply as he does for the institutional Church! Would that he and every bishop and every priest in every parish around the world wash the feet of all the people whom we have offended by our arrogance, insensitivity, callousness and pride. Granted it would take more than a few minutes during a once-a-year ritual, so this should be our attitude throughout the year.
This would go a long way of not simply healing the Church of our self-inflicted wounds, but would, as much as the Eucharist itself, reveal the abiding presence of our Lord Jesus Christ, and that woud be Good News indeed.
It was during Holy Week in 2002 in the midst of the clergy abuse scandal that John delivered this homily at our retirement home in Los Atos, California, where we were holding a Vocations Retreat. (This in itself was no easy task, with the scandals coming out almost on a daily basis. I mean, really, how do you diplomatically say, "Welcome aboard the Titanic!"?)
As we gathered for this most ancient of Catholic rituals, John pointed out that Holy Thursday was more than a solemn celebration of the institution of the Eucharist and the priesthood, which it is. On the night before he died, Jesus and the apostles celebrated the Last Supper at a time of gut-wrenching disintegration. Everything they held dear was falling apart around them. Their future looked bleak. And their situation was about to get nightmarishly worse.
Yet in the midst of this time of uncertainty, fear and confusion, Jesus took bread and gave God thanks and praise. He blessed and broke the bread and asked us to share it in his name. And whenever we did this, he would be present to us: especially in the midst of our darkest moments of doubt, disillusionment and danger.
Eight years have passed since John gave this homily. Alas, the clouds of scandal have not dispersed nor the anger and confusion dissipated. Oh, the Vatican can react with righteous indignation at the secular press and media, no doubt stoked by enemies of the Church, intentionally dragging up and distorting old cases which may or may not have had the complicity of then Cardinal Ratzinger. IMHO this misses the point entirely.
In the public mind (both of Catholics and the wider society), the Church has not done adequate penance for its sins. Penance is more than just public apologies; penance is a good faith effort to make amends for the harm that our sins have caused, and this cannot be satisfied with mere dollar signs.
At a retreat later that same year, 2002, Father Richard Rohr said, "A problem cannot be solved by the same mentality that caused it." There it is in a nutshell.
Unless we (and I'm including all the clergy and hierarchy in this) rend our hearts and not just our garments, unless we convert our way of thinking, unless we put on the very mind of Christ, this situation may never go away, much less be resolved.
How do we celebrate Maundy Thursday? By the Washing of Feet. Jesus takes the position of a servant and commands us to do the same. This is not fulfilled by ceremoniously re-enacting some ritual once a year, and especially not by the pope washing the feet of priests and seminarians (certainly not of women, God forbid!) This makes the exact opposite point Jesus was trying to make, and serves only to re-enforce the public perception of the Church as an "old boys club."
Jesus gives us a new commandment ("Mandatum" in Latin, hence "Maundy" Thursday via Old English). "Love one another, as I have loved you." But if we clerical types limit this just to taking care of fellow priests in the ordained priesthood, our Church is doomed.
Oh would that the Holy Father felt for the victims as deeply as he does for the institutional Church! Would that he and every bishop and every priest in every parish around the world wash the feet of all the people whom we have offended by our arrogance, insensitivity, callousness and pride. Granted it would take more than a few minutes during a once-a-year ritual, so this should be our attitude throughout the year.
This would go a long way of not simply healing the Church of our self-inflicted wounds, but would, as much as the Eucharist itself, reveal the abiding presence of our Lord Jesus Christ, and that woud be Good News indeed.
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