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Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Incredibly disappearing stuff

CORRECTION: In my previous blog I posted that Fr. Ernie Lukaschek's operation was Thursday. It's today: Wednesday, Feb. 3. The request for prayers stands.

Fr. John Kaserow, our liturgy coordinator, noticed our new aspergillum (sprinkler, for you post Vatican II types) that bore an uncanny resemblance to a whisk brush, had apparently grown a pair of wings and flown away. Either that or someone had a sudden urge to sweep their floor. In any event, in looking for it in time for Fr. Jim O'Neill's wake, John happened upon the old aspergillam which had gone into hiding when the new one arrived.

But this did bring up the subject of theft...er...I mean, unauthorized permanent borrowing from the sacristy. Many albs, gone! Matching stoles, vanished! An almost complete set of custom-made Chinese vestments with the character "Tao" (or Way) on the back, missing! (Our guess is our men in Africa and Latin America are not suspect.) The bishop's stool for ordinations, disappeared. (Feel free to nominate your favorite episcopal wanna-be).

And this is just from the sacristy! Br. Kevin Dargan, librarian, reports that some magazines don't last a day in the periodicals room. America and U.S. Catholic both have a habit of sprouting legs. And the surveillance camera outside the library entrance shows nothing unusual, leaving us to imagine very unsavory ways to spirit away a publication.

But wait! There's more! Kevin also reports that while going through the late Fr. Dan Schneider's things, someone or ones felt free to go into the room and help themselves.

The laundry room is another point of departure for one's personal belongings. I once had a brand new shirt (only worn once) disappear when I sent out four shirts for laundering and, get this, I got back three shirts and an empty hanger! Talk about hutzpah! I even posted a "Missing Shirt" bulletin, all to no avail. It reappeared almost one year later, in the laundry room, cleaned and ironed and on a hanger. I guess the culprit thought the rabbinical curse at the end of my bulletin was only a joke.

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In other news, once again the right liturgical hand didn't know what the left pastoral hand was doing, so yesterday the funeral pre-empted the Mass of the Presentation. Being temporary, mobile and flexible missioners, we made do.

At second solemn vespers yesterday, we blessed the candles and gussied up the ceremony with lighted tapers and chanting. A recond 15 (count'em--15!) guys attended.

I propbably should have stopped to count the breviaries and candles after the ceremony.

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